Sometimes it takes your partner being on vacation or a work trip for you to really embrace who they are.
I spend days coming down on my beautiful, witty fiancé about not reading my articles and our shared cleaning schedules.
Even though we are engaged, she’s still my girlfriend.
Through the years we’ve both developed new interests or firmly shaped old ones. When we first started dating, family, friends, feminism, social justice, human rights, plays, theater and movies were a huge part of her interest.
All of these things still are. It was easy to love this about her and came naturally.
In the mornings as we shuffle through the hour and a half before work by filling the 90 minutes in with our beautiful and thoughtful breakfasts, Stacy occasionally listens to podcasts.
Sometimes I come I from morning runs and take my headsets out and say baby, who is that? What are you listening to?”
The replies range from Marc Maron, to Terry Gross on “Fresh Air” interviewing Toni Morrison or Lena Dunham’s talk time.
These are some of her more recently expressed interests along with a huge love for comedy. I don’t overlook them when she’s here which is how I know all this by the way, but it took her absence and returning from a morning run on Friday and not hearing her podcast and seeing her prepare oatmeal with chia seeds to remind me of how blessed I am. Sometimes being in the midst of a blessing makes it such a norm that we fail to see how extraordinary it is.
She’s an Instagram and Internet surfer constantly googling the right way to do things (whether it’s tips for me about recovering from a marathon or tips for her how to join a college class late). She uses social media to embrace and experience individuals like Cheska Lee or “something badass” the first name slips my mind but after a little bit more thinking, I think it’s Nikki.
We talk about things, the Flint water crisis, health/education disparities, grocery lists, vilolence and the stupity of taking someone’s life, or intentionally hurting another person, Amy Schumer’s comedic genius, Kobe Bryant’s excellence as basketball’s greatest ever, Kendrick Lamar and Adele’s strong song writing abilities or Trumps rants, Sander’s place in politics, my family, her family, me missing my bestfriends or the cute pictures and videos of her best friend’s baby or brothers children who she refers to as her kids in an endearing tone.
We sit perplexed about talking about what’s next while sipping on Craft beers and excitedly talking about our new found shared interest in IPAs and stouts. We note our water intake, and smile at our discovery of Bok Choy and Swiss chard while talking about delights like Duck Donuts.
We laugh at movies, cry on them too. No offense to the scripts. All respect, we do this when they are good. She listens to me talk about documentaries like Spanish Land and sits down to check out “30 for 30s” like the “Prince of Pennsylvania” she explores movies like “Blue Jasmine” and encourages me to check out things that I consider questionable like Chelsea Handler’s alleged thought provoking serious where she has a segment on race. (I remain reluctant and refuse)
Right now I am in bed, thinking about my next move, coffee, getting the paper to see if my article on Petey Pablo ran, her and what’s she’s doing, if she is making Pumpkin pancakes (Mickey mouse shaped)for her nephew and two nieces, our wedding plans, the now, what’s next. I’m blessed, sometimes an empty side of the bed serves as the best reminder about how full life is.